Sometimes, our doubts, fears and insecurities can become overwhelming and make us wish that we were someone else who has ‘got it all together’. Having worked with thousands of people, I continually hear people say that other people are better than us and have more potential. The reality is that other people have self doubts yet do not necessarily share them, leading us to falsely believe that we are the only ones with fears!      

Interestingly, a person that appear to have it all together or are perceived as being confident have self doubt and fears too. If you could mind read for a moment, you may be surprised that someone who is ‘successful’ in your mind may have thoughts including ‘I hope I am doing my job well enough’; ‘I wish I could have a body like John’s’ or ‘I wish I had better social skills’.

We may look at a young entrepreneur believing that he has everything: money, success, friends and a great business. Yet in the privacy of his own home he wonders why his last girlfriend left him; wishes his nose was different shape or whether he is good enough to make the business succeed

Interesting isn’t it? We envy other people for appearing to have it all and admiring their wonderful lives. Meanwhile, they may look at us and wish they could trade places with us. When we don’t know or accept ourselves for who we truly are, we can tend to feel insecure in comparison to other people. We can suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose hope in living our potential as we may not be good enough.

One key to self improvement is to learn more about ourselves by listening and talking to a trusted friend, coach or counsellor. When you can express yourself openly and honestly, you are able to get a better insight into yourself by asking questions like “Do you think I talk too much?”, “Do I seem arrogant?”, “What could I do to be more friendly when meeting new people?”. The process of self discovery creates greater self awareness and self improvement. Be curious and open your mind to learning more about who you truly are. After all isn’t it better to find out the truth sooner rather than later.

Be the role model that demonstrates self improvement makes us better people who can inspire other people so others want to follow our example. To create stable and loving relationships you must love yourself first. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have therefore self love is essential for all relationships to be fulfilling.

Accepting your true self is the first step to self improvement. Ditch those unhelpful thoughts that sabotage you and prevent you from getting the results you want in life. We all have unique qualities that can serve ourselves and others. However until we accept and better understand ourselves, our treasures will not be discovered.

Nobody is perfect. We sometimes wish we had better skills, personalities or bodies. Yet by focusing on what we don’t like we are forgetting all the good qualities and strengths that we possess. Self improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best. It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment. When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and happy with our unique selves and inspire others just by being the REAL YOU.

To grow spiritually in a world defined by power, money, and influence may seem like an impossible task! With the world changing so quickly, providing us with new conveniences almost every week, ‘success’ is often considered the acquisition of material items that instantly gratify and satisfy our physical needs. Consequently, our connection to something greater and concepts of self-worth and self-meaning are sometimes confused. You may have asked yourself how is it possible to experience balance when the material world asks one thing of us yet our spiritual selves crave something different?

TO GROW SPIRITUALLY – SELF REFLECTION.

Introspection goes beyond recalling day to day events. When you reflect on your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and motivations, you give yourself the gift of greater self awareness. By regularly examining your experiences, decisions and relationships, you develop useful insights on your life goals, strengths and areas of improvement so that you better understand yourself. Like any skill, greater self awareness can be learned by anyone! However, the process does take courage and a willingness to understand the truths that lie within you. This process becomes very enjoyable with experience, as objective reflection can help you grow. So, be generous, forgive yourself and focus on the areas of you life you want to improve.

TO GROW SPIRITUALLY – DEVELOP YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL.

In Psychology, realising one’s full potential is to self-actualise. Maslow identified several human needs: physiological, security, belongingness, esteem, cognitive, aesthetic, self-actualization, and self-transcendence. However to achieve self actualisation, each level of human needs must be satisfied before we can develop to the next level. For instance, only once you have achieved basic physiological needs can then you meet your emotional needs. This is the process of personal development to reach our true potential and live our purpose.

Every person has a purpose which incorporates our physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual and intellectual potentials. When we understand who we truly are and know our purpose, we have something to look forward to which keeps us strong during trying times and challenges. When you choose to develop your true potential and have a clear vision, desired destination no matter what comes your way. A person without purpose or meaning is like a drifting ship at sea.

TO GROW SPIRITUALLY – RECOGNISE INTERCONNECTION.

Religions stress the concept of our relatedness to all creation, live and inanimate. Thus you may have heard people call other people “brothers and sisters” despite not being a direct relation since deity-centred religions such as Christianity and Islam speak of the relationship between humans and a higher being. On the other hand, science links us to other living things through the evolution theory with relatedness between living and non-living things. Psychology views connectedness as a characteristic of self-transcendence, the highest human need according to Maslow.

Whatever belief you have, recognition of your connection to all things provides more humility and respect for people, animals, plants, and things in nature. If we believe we are all connected then it is easier to appreciate everything around us.

Personal growth is a process that is possible because of our day-to-day experiences. We win some, we lose some, but the important thing is that there is something to learn from all our experiences. From the knowledge we gain about ourselves and others each and every day, further spiritual growth is made possible.

How do you develop your potential? Do you know your purpose and have you created a dream that makes life worthwhile? Do you enjoy the journey or are you simply marking off tasks along the way? What is your first step out of your comfort zone to live life to the fullest?